Geek to Farmer

My Father-in-law is here visiting with us and as man, he is a "Salt of the Earth" type of person.  Now think about that statement for a bit and be honest with yourself about what comes to your mind. To me, when I first met him, I thought he was a simpleton.  To quote RFD-TV "I'm just a farmer, plain and simple" sums up what I my first impression was of him.

How wrong I was.


When I first traveled with my then-to-be-wife to the farm house where she grew up, I got out of the car and saw the soy beans stretching off to the limit of my eyes and I exclaimed "Boy this is a lot of farm!"

The love of my life bluntly said "Mark, this is just a few acres and is a hobby for my Dad when he isn't working at the factory."

Now growing up in Southern California, I've seen some open land!
El Dorado park

Well compared to what my wife grew up with, it was the size of a pimple on a gnats ass.
The general area where my wife grew up

I really tried to absorb the vastness of acres from this raised-in-California mind, but it really didn't work.  The first clue I got was when my Wonderful Wife (WW from here on out) announced that she was going to "mow the yard."

Now, growing up in Condoland AKA Southern California, I never had to cut a blade of grass in my life, let alone "mow the yard".   I've seen yards.  Those are the pretty green things that always look like places to let the dog that my parents told me was mine, pee on so they would turn yellow in spots and piss off old Mr. Gresh.

Right?

Either way, when my WW mentioned that she was going to "mow the yard", I assumed (yes I see ASS in there) it was going to be a quick endeavor.

Oh how so wrong I was.   See it turns out that mowing the yard was a 3 hour process on a motorized lawn tractor along the lines of this lawn tractor and I was used to using these grass shears to "trim" the grass.

This was my introduction to what makes up living a farm life.

What is that?   That doesn't sound so hard?  Heck the grass needs to be cut so you jump on the lawn tractor and go for a ride and it's done.  Right?

No.

That's just the outside the house chore.

There might be still things to harvest, plant, feed, sort pigs (trust me, from the stories I've heard about raising hogs, you never want to do it), toss hay up to the barn or dry the corn kernels.

Oh did I mention the that a corn, wheat or soy bean farmer has to understand the hybrid's that the seed manufacturers are producing and also keep in compliance with the state on non-hybrid crops and oh ya, the fertilizer.... not to mention the weather affecting when you can plant and harvest.

Harvesting, if you think it's easy, I dare you to jump on a Combine and try keep a 6-row corn shell head straight.  Let me tell you, it looks easy, but it isn't.

Oddly enough, as much as a techno-geek as I am, I want to be a farmer.

Yes, I did it.

This hasn't been the best Holiday season.

My wife got laid off a week and a half ago and then 5 days later gets a call from the State of Washington that the son that she gave up for adoption 15 years ago has been given up by the adoptive parents.  It has been quite a one-two punch.

Fortunately we had already gotten the presents for the family and for Pickle (the 10 year-old). We wouldn't have gotten the things that we did if we had waited and then the Wife got laid off for sure.   But, being that we had, we stuck with it and even spent a bit more to decorate the house since it's our first Christmas in our first house.

Then it comes to me getting a present for myself.  It's not something I regularly do, but this was a bit different.  See I've been saving for 3 years to buy this particular item and I finally had saved up enough to get what I wanted and some accessories with it and here I am now with the Wife getting laid off.  

Do I still get it?  I've saved for 3 years for it!
 I waffled, I almost ordered it 5 times in 3 days...

Finally I did order it.

My present to myself

All in all I got the camera and 3 lenses and I'm a happy shutter bug.  I did make one concession in the fact that I bought the model one level down from the one I wanted and paid off the balance on one of our credit cards.

Something I never thought I'd hear my wife say

I have so much that I want to put down here, but between work and well work I haven't had the time. I took the day off tomorrow so I should be able to find some time then.


Now, as I was up laying down in bed, my wife comes out of the master bathroom saying "I'm sorry I was in there so long".

Admittedly, my first thought was "mafhafhfhajust drifting off to sleep damnmafha".

Then this follows her statement:

"I apparently had one stuck in the chute"

Now it took a moment to process, but ultimately what I think I said was "Why in dear heavens would you choose to share that information with me at this time when I am attempting to reach a state of slumber."

I have to admit it might have been more succinct, along the lines of "What the fuck are you talking about!?!"

In any case, she has apparently lightened her load and I can now safely return to the bedroom without having to discuss my wifes bowel movements.

*note to self: I have to relate the story of when my first wife got stuck in the toilet because I forgot to put the seat down*

Peace!